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Sometimes I wonder why I have not set priorities in my life. I wonder, I have no purpose. I wonder why even I am alive.
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So, I keep blaming myself time and again for these things.
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On the contrary, when I calm down, become a little appreciative of myself, spend some time reflecting and analysing the past… I realise everything I had set up in my mind really long time back or say since childhood itself.
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I ask myself, “Didn’t I already decide to become a teacher?”, even before I had finished my primary schooling. I always knew I was preparing myself wholeheartedly to become a teacher. I was following my own teachers religiously. In fact, some of their characters reflected in me when I took up teaching as a profession!
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When I sit silently, I realise what opinions I always held since my college days about marriage and relationships. I respected it.
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During the “me” time, I realise that I had already planned to adopt kids or just one or pay for education of some of the underprivileged ones when I would settle properly in my career.
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These are some of the purposes or dreams that are close to my heart. I have not achieved all of them but I am on my way. I have not strayed from my path.
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The thing is I am so engrossed in it, I am so busy working for it all that I sometimes don’t even realise what I am exactly doing. It is all naturally happening to me. My dreams are leading me. My purposes are leading me.
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I feel grateful that I have the sense to realise it. I am grateful that I have such a good sense. I don’t need to be harsh with myself.
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